Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My 100 Truths

Hello blogging world, i'm alive and kicking, just needed a break from reality for awhile, and this kicks me back in there when i read what i've written.
I wanna do a survey, you'll get to know me better I'm sure that's what you all want.

 WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Sweet Tea, the love of my life.

2. Last phone call: My bestest friend Meaghan Campion (:

3. Last text message: To my friend Zach

4. Last song you listened to: Currently listening to Downfall of Us All by A Day to Remember

5. Last time you cried: Last night.

 HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: Multiple times, mistakes each time.

7. Been cheated on: Multiple times.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yep.

9. Lost someone special: Plenty of times.

10. Been depressed: You have no idea.

 LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Red

13. Lime Green

14. Purple

 THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend: Tons, I mean I did start college.

16. Fallen out of love: No, I'm still in love, unfortunately...

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes

18. Met someone who changed you this year: Yes.

19. Found out who your true friends were: College really shows you who was always there, and who never was. So definitely.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: Haha, yeah. Everyone gossips. It's lame.

21. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list: Haha yes.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Not all of them, but the majority of them.

23. How many kids do you want?:  2 or 4, I either wanna keep my family smaller or have a decent sized one. I grew up with one sibling and having the age gap we had, it was definitely lonely sometimes.

24. Do you have any pets?: One dog: a Yorkie Poo. I had a Bischon who I loved that we had to put down this past summer.

25. Do you want to change your name?: Not my name, but I'll change my last name when I get married, whenever that will be.

26. What did you do for your last birthday?: I had a double party; my graduation party and my birthday party.

27. What time did you wake up?  8:20 and went back to sleep for another hour or so.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Coming back from Meaghan's room.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Thanksgiving break.

30. Last time you saw your Mother: Few weekends or so ago.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I am who I am because of the way my life has gone. So, nothing.

32. What are you listening to right now: My roommate talking to me.

33. Who do you miss the most right now?: My bestfriend Ashley.
 
34. Who is getting on your nerves now?: This stupid guy who can't seem to make up his mind about me...

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook

36.Whats your real name: Mary Kate Smith

37. Nicknames: Bestfriend, Twin, MK, Scoot, Tits.

38. Relationship Status: Single.

39. Zodiac sign: Gemini <3

40. Male or female?: Female

41. Primary School?: St. Patricks

42. Secondary School?: Red Lion

43. High school/college?: York Catholic/IUP

44. Hair color:  Brown

45. Long or short: Medium

46. Height: 5'5"'

47. Weight: 122


48: What do you REALLY REALLY like about yourself?: My eyes

49: Piercings: Both ears, and my belly button

 50: Tattoos: None right now, hopefully sometime in the near future.

 51. Righty or lefty: Righty

 FIRST:

52. First surgery: Tonsils

53. First piercing: Ears

54. First doll/action figure: Barbie

 55. First sport you joined: Tee-Ball

56. First vacation: Probably Salter Path

 RIGHT NOW:

 57. Thoughts: I Miss Him...

 58. Eating: nothing

 59. Drinking: Water

 60. I'm about to: brush my teeth

61. Listening to: Into Your Arms

62. Waiting for: Something good to happen to me.

63. I'm feeling: Tired and stressed

YOUR FUTURE :

 64. Want kids?: Yes

 65. Marriage?: Yes

 66. Career: Hotel Management.

YOUR DREAM GUY/GIRL:

 67. Lips or eyes: Blue or Green <3

68. Hugs or kisses: Both

69. Shorter or taller: Has to be taller

70. Older or Younger: Preferably older, but around my age

 71. Romantic or spontaneous: Both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: I don't need a man with a super fit stomach, the ones who have less fit ones make the better cuddlers, in my opinion. I love nice arms, I feel safe when they're around me (:

 73. Sensitive or loud: Both, knows when to be sensitive and when to be loud

  74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

HAVE YOU:

75. Kissed a stranger: Um, not really.

 76. Kissed someone of the same gender: Yes

77. Lost glasses/contacts: I don't have either.

78. Hurt someone intentionally: Yes

79. Broken someone's heart: Yes

80. Been arrested: Nopeeee.

81. Turned someone down: Yes

82. Cried when someone died: Yes, I'm not cold hearted

 83. Fallen for a friend: Yeppers

 DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Sometimes.

 85. God: There's times I'm not sure what to believe in, I wanna believe in God don't get me wrong. But, after going to a Catholic school I feel my views on Catholicism doesn't put the best perspective out there for me. I think there is God, but I don't agree with some Catholic views.

86. Heaven: Yes

 87. Forgiving and forgetting: Depends

88. Kiss on the first date: Sometimes

89. Angels: Yeah, they are my friends

90. Hell: yeah

 ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

 91. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No never

92. Did you sing today?: Yes

93. Did something illegal?: Not today.

94. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I wanna see my grandparents whom I've lost one more time, spend more time with them in their presence, i miss them so much.

95. The moment you would choose to relive?: The time where I had a choice between these 2 guys, cause I know for a fact I made the wrong choice back then, and I know now that I did.

96. Are you afraid of falling in love?: No

97. When was the last time you lied?: Who knows.

98. Are you usually late, early or right on time?: On time.

99. Would you give your life to save someone else's?: Depends on the person and the situation

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: No.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Quick post before my mom picks me up.

I'm going home for the weekend again. Being back in York County won't feel the same knowing, he would rather be somewhere else then with me. But, I guess i'll just grin and bear it. I'm working on moving on I really am but everytime I seem to feel happy and at ease about everything it hits me like a ton of bricks, i don't have him anymore, nor will i probably ever have him again.
in addition to knowing this, i'm writing him a letter that i'll actually mail to him, i've ripped up all the ones i started already because well they just don't feel right and i can never get my words perfect to him. but the letter i wrote on here, well that's what i consider a perfect way to state all of my emotions. but i can't mail him that letter. i need a new one, with new ideas. it seems so long ago since i wrote that "to him" and i feel like even though it may have only been a week or two i feel like a lot has changed between that time period and now. i still love him like you could ever imagine, i'm just getting used to masking everything and trying to find someone, "better" i guess is the proper terminology for that.
i have met a lot of boys here, none of them possible boyfriend material seeing as how, it's all frat brothers, or boys who tend to prey off of freshman girl because they're "fresh meat." now i dont see myself as that at all. i know my limitations and iknow when i'm getting pushed passed them. so i have self control and i dont fawn over boys who are older and can buy alcohol. no thanks, i'll pass on that one. i love for a guy who's charming, alluring, sweet, everything that most guys here are not, sadly. but i can see that there are some roses blossoming from the thorn bushes, i just need to sweep in before some other girl decides she wants to see what he's like. i've met a lot of great guy friends though and so far, i've had as little drama as possible. with the exception of one inparticular male. but he shall not be named, nor will i waste my typing "breath" on what he has done. anyway, as much as i wish i could tell you all about everything that's happened so far in my college career, i cannot. that would take way to long, and bore you all to death. love you all.
-- mary kate.

Monday, September 13, 2010

A letter to you...

Dear You,
As this letter goes on, you should know exactly who I'm talking to and whether or not it's you. This is it, the end of all ends. You chose this, do not come back saying you don't understand what happened because you know damn well what happened. You broke my heart, yet again. I would have given the world to you if you had asked, and all you could give me was a good week of your time and an unexpected end.
Now, as I say this I wonder to myself if the chance was granted to me, would I ever take you back? And the answer, sadly, is yes. You stole my heart right from out of my chest, and that's something that I'll never fully be over. It's always this way, one of us does something to screw everything up, we stop talking whether it be days, weeks, or months and maybe in this case right now a year. (Which I know it's only been weeks but it feels like an eternity without you sometimes.) But we always run back to each other because that's the way our lives lead us. Maybe we aren't meant for each other but from the way we interact I feel like you're the perfect person for me. But, you've broken me one too many times and I can't take it anymore. As much as I say this, I miss you so much and the distance just makes it harder on me.
No matter what you've done to me, there are times where I think about all the good times and I can't help but want to see you and want to be in your arms again. The week before I left you made it memorable. I  don't know where you were or what planet you were on to say "things weren't working" you were always asking me to spend time with you. You KISSED me, when I would have been fine with a hug. You gave me false hope, and that's something I'm not exactly sure I can forgive right now. You made me think you were happy with me, you made me think that everything was okay, when in the back of your mind you were just waiting for an escape.
Do you know how many people told me we should be together? How many people want us to be together? But, like you told me you need someone to bring around your friends. Funny, when we were dating did you try and have me interact with your friends or ask me to go somewhere with you and your friends? No, the only time we were with friends was that one night. And that barely counted. You honestly can't see me being around your friends? Well then, screw you. Maybe your ashamed of what you did, and it doesnt matter because you should be. You broke my heart again and again. And you have no sympathy for me? Well then fine, have a great life.
Just remember though, I loved you through the good and the horrible. I would have given up everything for you. Remember when you kiss whoever your going to kiss next, that I cherished every kiss I ever got from you. Every hug, every embrace, everything was cherished. As sad as I am, I feel sorry for you, because you lost someone who could have been the best thing in your life.
Remember when you hold her, how you held me and whispered you loved me into my ear. Remember when you kiss her, how you kissed me and everytime a smile creeped over our lips at some point in time. Remember when you drive around with her in your car how you would quiz me on who was singing, and how I would sing along with you. Remember when you take her around your family, how much I loved every single one of those people in your life and how I was so open with all of them. Remember when you take her to dinner, our first date and the day of our very first kiss. Remember when you watch movies with her laying on the couch, how I would cuddle with you while watching your favorite movies. Remember when you play guitar hero with her, how many times we played it and made fun of each other for the facial expressions. Remember when you have an energy drink, our inside joke together. Remember me, for the girl who loved you with everything she had and all she could give. And I hope you realize how much you broke my heart.
--- Me.

Monday, August 30, 2010

New places, faces and a time to make memories.

So the past two days have been hectic with it being move in weekend and then realizing that we have way too many things that we forgot to get and things we didn't do ahead of time. So, here's my blog for the past few days I guess haha.

Friday-- My Last Day in York
I spent this with some of the best friends I could ever ask for. We went swimming and I seriously froze because I was chased into the pool with threats of being thrown in regardless if I got in or not. So I figured well if they're going to threat it, then why not do it myself? So I jumped in. Let's just say I have some creative friends. They set up benches on the side of my pool and decided to run and jump/dive over the volleyball net set up in my pool. Needless to say, I only got one picture of that.


That would be my best friend Alex diving over the net. I didn't think I was going to get a good action shot but I definitely think I did. After we went swimming we decided to go play guitar hero, now all of my guy friends are really good at it and play either hard or expert, while I on the other hand will gladly sit there and play medium just because I know I'm good at it. Well, they were doing face-offs and they had to the play the same level, so I just thought it was fun to watch them as they played against each other. Well, I started to fall asleep while they were there. (Yeah I know I sound like such great company.) Now mind you I don't get the best sleep during the night, nor can I fall asleep at good times, so naps are definitely a great thing for me. But I knew I still had some packing to do and the boys weren't staying that long. Speaking of that, I said one of my hardest goodbyes that day. Like I said Alex has been my best friend for three years and he means the world to me. Knowing that I'll be away from home and unable to be there and hang out with him made me break down and cry. I miss him.

Saturday-- Move in day.
Well let's just say I had a whole mix of emotions during this time period. I was stressed, well that's the under statement of the century. We had the car packed to the seams with all my stuff for college. Needless to say my anxiety was a little high that day if you couldnt guess that already. But the unpacking process took a lot less time then expected. And I LOVE the way my room looks. And my roommate is AMAZING!
That would be my bed. The bigger stuffed animal was a 16th birthday present from Alex and the little one is from my parents probably for like my 2nd birthday. So they both mean a lot to me.

That's my desk with a few things missing from the picture but they were added at a later time tat day.

That's the top of my dresser. I LOVE my tv if only it had more channels on it. I like to smell good so notice the different hand sanitizers and perfumes.

That's my roommate Jessica and myself outside our dorm.

Our vanity which trust me does not stay that neat for very long.

That's our shower (yes at this college we happen to have our own bathrooms.) That shower caddy is going to be the death of me, since the suction cup does not like to stay suctioned. Then once it comes unsuctioned the whole caddy likes to shift itself meaning bottles go flying, and Mary Kate gets hit in the eye with a shampoo bottle.
We have our little eating area (: Cake and cookies courtesy of Jess's mom and grandma.
Here's what we college students consider a kitchen.

The only thing you havent seen is Jess's room which, is the same as mine but decorated the way she wants it to be.

Now after we were all settled in and our books were bought and our goodbyes said. We decided showers were a must, overheated and sweaty I jumped in the shower for my first fight with the fiesty shower caddy. But this time only razors were the weapon that fell on the floor and not on me. After my shower I decided it would be best to get ready as quickly as possible before Jess did because well, we lack the room to get ready at the same time and you know, us girls, we need our mirror time. Although we found out that we can both do something in the mirror but it cannot be the same thing i.e: she straightens her hair as I do my make-up or brush my teeth. The only time we cannot share is the precious time for blow drying of the hair which I frankly need all the space I can get when I do that. But we try our best to get ready together. Jess and I both go to each other for fashion advice and we end up with two cute outifits, which we didnt take pictures of, I have the top of mine if that helps?
My shirt says Live, Love, Laugh. Which I got at Pac Sun, and I have a pair of skinny jeans on (my favorite.) Make up is subtle yet noticeable. Jewelery are my usual bracelets and silly bands and cannot forgot FOUR, yes, four hairties.
Now what we were going to do was the organized "Happening at the Hub" yes, thats what it was called. Happening? Must I tell how this went? This was sooo not "happening." It was boring and needless to say we stayed there for about 2 songs and as we said "peaced." We walked around campus and met, well were talked to by boys in frats telling us we NEEDED to go to their party to have a good time. No silly frat boy, I do not need to go to your rager, get handed some beverage with god knows what in it and then you try and get me to go up to your room, thanks but no thanks. (: The wonders of college life. Anyway, what we decided constituted as fun was ordering a pizza at midnight and eating and just talking to each other and getting to know each other better. Did I mention, my roommate is AMAZING? After that our sugar rush crashed and so did we.

Sunday: Now I am a girl who likes her beauty sleep but hates when she feels like she wasted her day, so I figured 11 constituted as a good time to arise. Well, my roommate was already up and ready, well that made me feel like a loser let me tell you lol. Anyway after we got ready we decided to go get lunch in the cafeteria. Where the food is mediocre at best. So after our good eating time we decided to go to teh grocery store which is about an 8 minute walk down hill. Which means a 12-14 minute walk uphill with grocery bags at hand. But it wasnt as bad as we thought. The walk down we passed off campus housing, with beer smells wafting from the doors I guess you could say they had a goodnight. Or the house that had beer cans in the front yard, broken glass and a tv laying as if it had been thrown off the balcony. Now you can't tell me that they were feeling so hot that day. Moving on, we got the goods and went to the dorm. Put them away in our proper places and then proceeded to the co-op store, where I spent about 38 dollars getting myself all decked out to be well how you say "school spirited." So, as the day moves on we hang out spend time together eat a mediocre dinner. And 10:15 rolls around, which means floor meeting. Now as my Jessica and I headed on our way to the floor meeting we saw something that wasnt written on our whiteboard before 248, could that possibly be a boys room number? And why would they leave it there? So we wrote them a note back and the door tag proceeded on. Ah, the adventures of college students who don't want to talk in person. Anyway, one time when I was taking the note to the room Jess and I realized we did not have our keys, we sat in the hall way for about 10 minutes waiting for the CA to come help us in. Needless to say, the adventures of Mary Kate and Jessica are just now beginning. Talked to Alex because I couldn't sleep, I guess you could say I missed him more than I orignially planned seeing as how just hearing his voice brought me to tears.

Which brings me to, today: The first day of classes BORING as some would say. But hey I think I looked cute doing it. Which brings me tooooo.... MORE PICTURES!
Taken off my laptop webcam so it's not perfect quality, but this is my first day of school outfit, I loved it. And I think, not to sound cocky, but, I rocked it (:
Little boost of energy anyone? College has now turned me to the dark side, I am now a coffee drinker. (Might I add there's about 2 POUNDS of sugar and flavored creamer in there. Right now I'm enjoying a french vanilla and caramel coffee, DELICIOUS. Thank you Maxwell House for making my hands shake from caffeine.)
And last but not least meet my baby, Lionel. He's now 2 years old. We share a birthday because I got him on my 16th. This is my cuddle buddy (plus a sweatshirt which Alex gave me both of.) I like having a little piece of Alex here with me since he can't be.

Well bloggers, I think you saw my life for the past few days. (:
--Mary Kate

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sick with 2 days of summer left?!

So, I don't think I'm super sick, or even remotely sick, but I've had a headache and stuffy nose for the past few days, and then today when I was out shopping for school stuff with my mom and dad I seriously felt like I was going to either fall over or even worse pass out. But oddly, when I got outside I felt better, I guess it was just really stuffy in the store and it made me feel overheated and even more sick.

Well geeze, here we're coming to an end. It's sad that now I'm seeing who my true friends are. Tomorrow I'm having people over to swim and just hang out around my house since it's my last day in York. I naively thought that my "best" friend would show up. But, no I was mistaken, this isn't the first time that she's decided to bail on plans. She bailed on my going away party too. She knew about my going away party a good bit of time in advance and did she ask her parents right when she found out? No, she waited till the day of the party to even think about asking if she could come. Then I told her what time to come over tomorrow before work, because I know what time she works at and then she informed me she works. And I was like yeah nice try, i know what time you have to work. So, I said forget about it, nevermind, I'll see you another time when I get home on a break. I don't have many super close friends because this always seems to happen, I get close to someone and they decide they don't need me in their lives anymore and they start to push away the friendship. This time I'm not standing for it, I will not be walked all over. This is also why I hang out with mostly guys because nowadays they seem like the only people I can trust, girls are flaky, fake, and super catty, who think about no one but themselves.
(Sorry the vent session just felt necessary tonight.)

Anyway, I can say I'm thankful for my best friend Alex and Jason, because they've been planning on coming since my going away party. (Alex's mom was the one who threw the going away party for me.) They seriously know how to make me laugh like no one else does. Alex has been my best friend for three years and I couldn't have asked for anyone except him to be in my life this long. We dated this past year, things went a little downhill, well a lot downhill, but in the end we're stronger than ever. (: Jason was the one who was there for me through a wholeee lot. I can talk to him about pretty much everything. He was my prom date. Honestly, I had so much fun with him at my prom. His prom was well, a disaster. But, just like Alex, Jason and I are stronger than ever (:

Well, I said in my past blog that my mom and I were going to see a movie tonight. That sadly didn't happen. We went shopping instead for all the stuff I needed that I hadn't gotten yet for college. Family of procrastinators. So, at this moment in time my feelings about Eat, Pray, Love have still not changed. And I can't wait to see it thought now. Thursdays are for Jersey Shore, so in 4 minutes there's a new show on. Meaning goodbye bloggers. Leave me love. (:

---Mary Kate

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Moving on...

The end of the summer is drawing near-er. Meaning, in 3 days I will be moving into my dorm at IUP. As happy as I am I cannot help to think of how bittersweet this experience is. I'm leaving some of the best friends I've ever had behind to meet new people who may or may not make an impact as those I've met before have.
I'm scared to think about how life will be like in college. Parties will always be a constant no matter what school you go to, it's just if you decide to get caught up in that lifestyle or not. The way I see it, I have too much hanging on my education to worry about getting caught at a party. I want to work with kids one day, and one thing on a record could ruin that entirely for me.
I'm excited though, my roommate is amazing! We haven't known each other long and we didn't go to school together previously either. But, she and I talk everyday, whether it be via skype, a phone call, a text message, or a comment on facebook. She's going to school for Interior Design, a completely different path then I'm taking, but I have a feeling that we'll both open each others eyes to new things.

A few days ago, my best friends mom threw me a going away get together is a good way to put it. Just a select few friends, hanging out, eating pizza, shooting off some of those little fireworks, that aren't illegal, and just sitting around all night talking. My bestfriend and I have been close for 3 years, with a few minor or sometimes slightly major bumps along the way. But, I've told him before, each time we always come out stronger than ever. He has the greatest family, and I'm so thankful for knowing them. Around them I can be myself with no judgement and they can easily do the same around me. I love knowing I can be open with people. Seeing as how I'm a very loud and outgoing person. Just ask his mom, I was once known as the "Loud Girl."

Tomorrow is going to be somewhat eventful, I have to go to PNC for a new checking account so I can be ready for college since that's the only bank close to campus, I need to order my books for school finally (yes I know what you're thinking "How could she wait until THREE days before she's leaving to get her books together." As you should all know, I'm a huge procrastinator, and although I've tried working on that it doesn't seem to be getting any better.), I have to finish writing thank you cards from my graduation party (yet again another thing i left to the last minute.), and I have to get my shot records for college. Then, my mother wants to have a movie date together, we're going to see Eat, Pray, Love. I'm not exactly sure my feelings about this movie yet, but I'll be sure to review it when I get the chance. (:

First blog, and I think a successful one at that.

--- Mary Kate